She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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