I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
