i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
