This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
