What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
