I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
