Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
