I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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