A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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