Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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