Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
