I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
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I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
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Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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