Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
