please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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