I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
