i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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