Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
