i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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