I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
