Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
