It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
