R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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