kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I stole a fireplace last night.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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