she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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