I CAN MOONWALK!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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