Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
