I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
