My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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