he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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