After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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