i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
wow bdsm is so cute
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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