I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
