just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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