Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
