we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
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is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
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i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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