it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just had sex on a roof
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
