You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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