I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize