We won't sleep together?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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