We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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