Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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