I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
