Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
