dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
