I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
