I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize