Don't you send me to vm
He had one of those small greek statue penises
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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