do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
