Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
