as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im holly from the hills drunk
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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