all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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