finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
