tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
