He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I AM VODKA MAN
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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