i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
