You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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