dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
