Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
